The word addiction has been revolving in my mind for some time now. I have been trying to get over mine since last year and am yet to succeed. The thing is there is this one question that has been nagging me and stopping me from succeeding. Do we ever get over the word “addicted”?
I believe all humans are addicts, obsessed over… God knows! Can be anything… I am addicted to fictional books like a druggist might be to opiates. I devour books like a hungry man would eat delicious food after 2 days of fasting. Last week I borrowed four books and I felt like I became rich and have reached the top of the world.
People who know me might have already begun enumerating reasons why I should get over the addiction. For the benefit of others, I’ll jot down the reasons why I have to let go of such a good habit. The thing is when I get a novel to read, which consumes almost all out of office hours of my day, I get so engrossed in it that I hardly notice anything else. I don’t respond to any stimuli properly, as a normal human should. And another of my characteristics, I can revisit some books too many times, so many times that people who see me reading feel like throwing the book away from my hand. After all anything in excess is bad. So I should get over my addiction.
And that takes me to the next question, what do I do of all the free time I’ll have when I stop reading books? I’ll have to find something else to occupy my time and my brain cells. I have been searching for that something from over a year now and haven’t been able to fix to anything specific which brings me back to the initial question.
Do we ever get over the word “addicted,” because I’m just trying to find something else to occupy my time, something to replace my initial addiction? Doesn’t it happen to everyone who is addicted? A workaholic finds something else to occupy their time, smokers find chewing gum, alcoholics find lighter beverages and so on, until a time comes when they don’t recognize themselves anymore and become suicidal. Yes, I believe at one point of time in our lives, we all become suicidal. Most people find reasons to continue living; some, unfortunate or otherwise I wouldn’t know, don’t and take their lives. And no, I’ll not take my life if I am forced to live without books. I’ll just not let others know I’m still reading! J
But the point to ponder remains, why do we have to let go of things we like, only to search for second bests? Just to keep ourselves in moderation and not become attached to something we live for in some senses? I know the obvious answer, because they are harmful to our lives. Yet again aren’t the addictions what comprises most of our lives. Wouldn’t trying to rehabilitate be trying to live with something less than our true selves? I think so it is and that is the reason I still am unsuccessful in my endeavor to stay away from my beloved books. Let me know your thoughts.
