I
lost both my paternal and maternal grandmothers this year. I wasn’t able to
attend their last rites as I am pursuing my ambition to have a doctorate degree
far away from home and family. I shed some tears and tried observing the
mourning as much as I could while still preparing for my exams and conference. I want to believe both my grandmothers would understand.
In
spite of this, why is that the death of a friend with whom I had lost contact
years ago pains me more? It has been more than 5 months since his death and
every time I see a picture or a reminder of his existence I feel my eyes
tearing up. Ours was a casual friendship of a sort where we would hang out with
other friends. I lost touch with him after 2 months of changing my location and
hadn’t given him a thought until I heard from mutual friends about his
accident. I did not know him and did not want to know too. If he were alive I
wouldn’t spare him a thought. But suddenly I see his name on my facebook
birthday’s page and I am surprised his facebook account is still active. I go
to his page and see that his friends and family has continued posting on his
page remembering him.
And
I think, how would he remember me now if he could. Probably as the girl who
talked him into wearing a sweater in the middle of a Delhi winter. I remember
him as a gadget fanatic guy who had craze for bikes, who could be stubborn at
points you couldn’t even bother to deal with and generally a guy with a smile.
He used to say, I like hanging out with you guys, no matter the pain of
standing near your seats from Agra to Delhi.
I am
sorry for myself. I lost an opportunity to have a good friend. I am glad your family
and friends are keeping your memory alive and keep reminding me that everything
in life is transient.
