The hungry "LEMONADE"r

So ok, I have put on weight and nobody seems happy about it. My attitude is perhaps the best among others, I don’t mind it. Why do the others mind it? Well ok they mind it… so… what???? Should I quit eating? Or should I walk, jog, run, and do mindless yoga all day? Should I even catch sleep on a tread mill? Well???? Oh! Ok… moderation… moderation huh!??? What is it anyway? Eat boiled vegetables and fruits all day long and 4 hours of exercise… Cool… Hey buddy that’s not for me. Good God! I did rather starve than eat such food. And don’t you start laughing. I can fast. I can go without food for 24 hours or so. I have done it before. I can do it again. Don’t you dare laugh. Don’t you laugh.

I wake up with a start. Oh! Ok I was dreaming. It was just a dream. I didn’t create a scene with…? Well, I don’t remember who I was with. Ah! It’s ok. It was only a dream.

So consoling myself on this point, I decide I need to go shopping for clothes. I don’t fit into my old ones anymore. And I am happy! Well, I am getting new clothes, am I not? It calls for celebration, which means pizza hut!!!! No!!! L I can’t… I had been teased as baby elephant just yesterday evening. I had better control my weight, even if I can’t reduce it.

And thus I am on my way to a mall. I look around, I buy clothes. I complain for the limited collections and the saleswoman politely tells me she has indeed a small collection for the largest size. I go for window shopping and suddenly I am ravenously hungry. I remember now, in my haste to get to the mall before the rains catch up with me I had forgotten my breakfast. And I also remember my resolution for having only lemonades today.

So I set out in the hunt of lemonades in the mall. But Oh no! really? Can’t someone do better? This mall has no lemonade stalls, not even stalls for tender coconuts. So what am I supposed to have? What am I supposed to do? Stay hungry? Oh! Oh my my! Oh, indeed. Fine, I’ll try.

Thinking thus I leave the mall and start on my way back home which is 45 minutes away, 30 on bus no 11 and 15 minutes on any other I get. I resignedly start walking picking up mental images of lemonade and fruit juices that I’ll prepare as soon as I get home and devour them just as quick. It won’t be difficult to stay hungry for 45 minutes, surely it won’t.

But the 20 minutes of walk takes its toll on me. I have to have some sugar in my bloodstream, the normal 80 pre-prandial. And the nearest food outlet…well J its McD… surely I can find something in there which I might have when I am on a diet regime. Oh! Sure!

Ecstatic I walk on to the counter of McD and salivate on the menu. I devour the menu with my eyes, but one little sensible part of my brain says, “Dear, diet control.” I try to ignore the voice and decide my menu of the day, but the voice refuses to be ignored. I halfheartedly, then search for some low calorie food. Not finding any my heart falls flat down to the sole of my feet agonizing about the next 25 minutes and more until I can gulp something down my throat. My eyes still on the menu card, I wonder about choices. Why are there choices when I can’t even have one? It feels like I am one of the characters in the ad for Naukari.com. “What is the use of choices if they don’t work for you?” or something like that.

Sighing I decide I might as well have a coke to keep me from dehydrating. And alas! I was just about to place my order when my cells starts beeping alerting me to a new text message. I reach for my cell and read the message. It is from time health and it tells me while dehydrating one must take salted water with sugar and not a drink containing soda which might cause the dehydration to be further severe.

Is the worse going to get over? Mulling and sulking I hit on the roads again and keep my eyes on the road lest it strays over to another food outlet and I am further tempted. I reach home, rush over to my refrigerator and…. Nooooooooooo!!!!!!

I had food in my refrigerator. I had kept a few lemons, some fruits, vegetables, sauces, syrups, cheese, butter, even ladoos. Where did it all go? Why is my fridge empty? Almost in panic I call on my flat mate and she calmly tells me she had to remove the food from the fridge and throw them all away because they were harboring fungi. Just today morning when she removed milk, it cheesed and in the process of discovering what was wrong with the milk, she found fungi in the fridge. She cleaned the fridge and has kept it switched off for defrosting. She informed me I might buy food provisions that will last me only a day and not more as the refrigerator will need to be kept switched off another 24 hours.

Good heavens! I am tired and hungry and have no food even the most oily or fatty food in the world to survive me. I will have to go out again to hunt some food. I take few deep breaths and calm myself down. Hey! Come on. You just had your last meal 16 hours back. See its 16 only, not even 24. You are ok… have some water with salt and sugar and you will be fine.

I am fine and I am going out to find a loaf of bread, never mind whether its white or brown. Something is always better than nothing. And I just happen to step out of my flat and the heavens open.

The downpour that started didn’t end till the next morning. My flat mate and the rest of the working people in this big city had to take refuge in their offices for the night and came home early next morning. I, unable to keep one foot out of my doors, had to stay hungry or rather without food surviving on water, salt and sugar till the morning proving I would rather starve than go on a strict diet regime.