"AMRICANIZE" Me

The first day I braved into venturing streets of Newark, I was a scared chicken thrown to battle. I was armed with a winter coat purchased in India, my laptop and a map. The day was windy, cold and cloudy. My companions had all abandoned me for the cozy warmth of their blankets in their heated houses. But I had a battle to be waged against the unknown (Background: I was born and brought up in a city in India that had wild bears walking the streets as if they were domestic dogs. There were only 3 reported accidents in the 18 years I lived there, but no one wanted to become a statistic, so the humans moved in packs and avoided the less travelled roads unless they were in a closed vehicle. I lived elsewhere in the country for the next 7 years of my life, but the thought of going out in an unknown place always reminded me of the day I came face to face with a bear and screamed so loud that the bear ran away.

If you are wondering why didn’t we barricade our city against the bears, let me tell you we did that as a trial once. Then people missed the bears and on public demand the barricades were removed). So here I was; fighting against the chilly wind and losing. I had tears in my eyes from raising my head to look for landmarks. Against all odds I reached the campus, took cover in the first building in sight and opened the map. My inability to read a map rose like an enemy and laughed like Mogambo (Background: Mogambo is a famous villain from an Indian movie. His laugh is memorably evil). The map made no sense to me (Background: In India if you are searching for a location, you stop a street vendor and ask for directions. I would have done the same here, but I was too shy to interrupt people and ask questions which I will have to repeat twice because of my Indian accent). But since I had to move on, I mustered all my strength, fortified my body with an extra scarf, armed myself with the map and charged against the wind.

The wicked wind tore the map into two pieces and one of the pieces flew away. I ran to catch it and nearly ran into a biker. Furiously I asked him, Couldn’t you ring the bell? He looked blankly at me and it was then I noticed that his bike didn’t have a bell, or a stand. Surprised, I wondered why would someone buy a bike that was missing parts. I apologized to the biker and then remembered to be astonished that he was biking in this weather. On comparing his and my attire, I laughed out loud (I learned later that my coat was best suited for early fall, my shirt too thin, my shoes should have been in a closed closet before the first snow, the socks and scarves needed to be of wool and gloves were absolutely necessary). I shook my head and looked again at the map, decided that it was not going to get me anywhere and started walking until I reached a zebra crossing (cross walk, if you prefer).

Next demon: traffic rules (Background: In India, you look left, you look right and if you see a clear road for 5 seconds, you cross. Drivers back home are ready for spontaneous pedestrians). A car stopped and both of us waited for the other to go first. Finally he opened his window and told me to cross PLEASE. By the time I reached the library I got honked three times.

Minutes later it started snowing. Mind you this is the first time I had seen snow. I was openly fascinated. The battle had turned into enjoyment now. I walked on without direction and enjoyed the sight. Without knowing how, I reached my destination. Youhooooo! I WON the war!

I reached the office that the department assigned to me the previous day. The following conversation struck between a fellow graduate student and me.

She: “Are the electricians done with the work in the hallway?”

Me: “I don’t know. I walked here straight from the building main door. Where is this hallway?”

She: (Strange look) “Didn’t you just walk in through that door?”

Me: (Weird look) “I did.”

She: “Is there someone working outside the door?”

Me: “No.”

She: “What did you call the region outside the door?”

Me: “Corridor.”

She: LOL

Me: (What?)

She: “In America, we call it hallway.”

Me: “Oh!” (Nod)

She: LOL

Me: “What did I do now?”

She: “You did the Indian nod.”

Me: (Surprised) “There is an Indian nod?”

She: (Still laughing) “Yup. See this!” (Opens a Youtube video for Indian nod)

Me: (Head shake) “I see it. What is the American nod?”

She: (Nods and leaves)

At lunchtime, I headed out to Main Street. Again the war began. I walked backwards to avoid the brutal wind and entered the first restaurant. The lady behind the counter asked me 5 questions regarding my order after I selected it. I was flabbergasted. I didn’t know there were so many ways to make a cappuccino. Really, all you needed to do is press a button on the coffee machine!

By the time I returned home that night (got a ride on the way back), I realized I was in a different country. Since then I have adjusted to the cold, the wind, the food, the map and the American English. Now when I go back to India for a vacation, I am surprised that when I order a lunch in a restaurant, the waiter quietly takes the order and brings back hot piping food exactly the way I want (or not!).